Why are Healthy Boundaries Important?
Do you ever catch yourself wanting to say no because you’re not emotionally in the right state to handle a situation, but you say yes anyways because you don’t want to feel judged for saying no? Or have you ever felt like you had to make an excuse to get out of something so you wouldn’t have to do it? Well, we’re here to tell you you’re not alone.
We all know it’s easier to say yes to other people rather than saying no to protect ourselves. Disappointing others, causing any tension or conflict is the last thing we want to do, so instead we choose to do the opposite of what we need or want to do for our well-being. This is why setting healthy boundaries is crucial for our overall health. Because if we don’t set boundaries, it will cause us to become stressed, resentful, angry and eventually burnout.
So, What Are Healthy Boundaries Anyway?
Healthy boundaries are where you protect your mental and emotional well-being. Breaking promises to ourselves is a form of harm and is overstepping a boundary. Saying yes to something that you don’t have the mental or emotional capacity to handle is another form of overstepping a boundary. Setting healthy boundaries for ourselves is the most important thing we can do for others, because when we can honor ourselves we show up as our best selves. See, people have the misconception that self-care is selfish when quite frankly it’s the opposite. Taking care of ourselves and giving our body, mind and souls what they need is a form of self-love. You wouldn’t want the people you love to not take care of themselves, so why should you?
How Do You Establish Healthy Boundaries?
The first thing is to look at what boundaries (or lack of) that you currently have in your life. For example you may have healthy boundaries set with your romantic partner, but you don’t when it comes to work or some of your family relationships. Are you able to say no to your romantic partner, but when it comes to work or family you always say yes?
The most simple way to establish boundaries is to say no to something you don’t want to do. Say it firmly and from a place of love. That ‘no’ is backed up with self-love of your emotional and mental well-being and is protecting you from the feelings you don’t want to feel. Like the feelings you would get as if you were to say yes, for example. If you don’t establish a consequence around your needs, then you will be the one to suffer. This means when you set boundaries it’s important to remember to state why they are important.
Overall, the key to establishing boundaries is figuring out what you want from the relationships in your life, setting boundaries based on those desires, and then being clear with yourself and with other people about your boundaries.
Quick Tip Reference
- Define – identify desired boundary
- Communicate – say what you need, with love
- Keep it simple – don’t over explain
- Set consequences – say why it’s important
