Reclaiming Yourself: Navigating Menopause When You Have a History of an Eating Disorder

Four (okay five years) of college brought life-long friendships, late nights on the dance floor, plenty of free drinks, mini roadtrips, hours spent studying in coffee shops, a bit of a granola phase, a degree and an eating disorder.

Fast forward through a move to a new city and then back to my small college town, most of what I discovered in college stuck with me. I struggled for the better part of my late teens into my mid 20’s with a constant nagging in the back of my mind that I was too fat- Even though I wasn’t. This distorted thinking caused excessive calorie counting, restriction, binging and purging and a whole lot of self sabotage and heart ache.

It took me getting pregnant with my first born to stop the destructive cycle I had started. Feeding my growing baby changed my life. I stopped all of it. I quit focusing on being thin and embraced my new priority and my changing body. I breastfed and found that fortunately, the baby weight didn’t linger too long after she was born. Years and more babies later, I came to a peace with my body and an understanding that my weight would ebb and flow, I was totally okay with the small fluctuations in my weight. I’ve always been active and with my healthier mindset, I didn’t have to worry much about my weight. Till perimenopause, that is. My midsection changed almost overnight. Nothing fit. Every single pair of jeans I owned were too tight. My eating hadn’t changed, my exercise was consistent. WTF?! So, without fail, I noticed the same feelings creeping back that haunted me more than 2 decades ago. Ugh.

I know, it’s completely normal to feel confused and frustrated when your body changes without a change in your diet or exercise routine. Perimenopause can feel like a betrayal, especially when you’ve worked so hard to find peace with yourself. The weight gain and redistribution in the midsection are very real and are directly linked to hormonal changes, not a lack of effort on your part.

It’s still hard to wrap my mind around the fact that this new phase doesn’t have to erase all the progress I’ve made. The wisdom and self-awareness I’ve gained over the past two decades are still with me. Let’s unpack how to navigate menopause when you have a history of eating disorders.

Navigating the Reemergence of Old Feelings

It’s clear you’ve already identified the key issue: the old, familiar feelings of body dissatisfaction are creeping back. Here’s a way to approach this new challenge:

• Acknowledge Without Judgment: It’s okay to feel upset about your body changing. Instead of telling yourself you “shouldn’t” feel this way, simply acknowledge the emotion. You can say to yourself, “I’m feeling frustrated because my body is changing in a way I don’t like.” This simple act can reduce the power of the emotion.
• Focus on the Present: You’re not the same person you were in college. You have a family, a different life, and a deeper understanding of yourself. Focus on what your body does for you now—it carried your children and has sustained you for decades.
• Reframe Your Mindset: The goal is no longer about being thin; it’s about being healthy and strong for this stage of life. Instead of thinking “My jeans don’t fit,” try thinking “My body is changing, and I need new clothes that fit this beautiful new shape.”

What’s one small step you can take today to honor the progress you’ve made?

Why Your Past Eating Disorder Might Come Back During Menopause

Menopause is a huge change. It’s not just hot flashes and mood swings—it’s a complete physical and emotional reset. For women who’ve dealt with an eating disorder in the past, this time can feel especially hard. The issues you thought you’d left behind can resurface, making you feel out of control just when you need to feel your strongest.

Understanding why this happens is the first step to taking back control.

The Perfect Storm: Why Menopause Can Trigger an ED Relapse

Think of menopause as a perfect storm for a past eating disorder. Here’s why:

• Hormonal Chaos: As estrogen levels drop, so can your mood. Estrogen helps regulate serotonin, the “feel-good” chemical. Lower levels can lead to anxiety, depression, and irritability—all common triggers for unhealthy eating habits.
• Body Image Turbulence: Menopause often means changes to your body, especially weight gain around your middle. For someone who has a history of an eating disorder, these changes can be terrifying, leading to a return to old, restrictive behaviors.
• Stressful Life Changes: Menopause often happens at the same time as other major life events, like your kids leaving home or caring for aging parents. This can be overwhelming, and old habits of controlling food or your body can feel like a misguided way to cope.
• Misinformation About Nutrition: Everyone tells you to eat differently as you age. But trying to combat weight gain or bone density loss can lead to crash diets and unhealthy fads, which are often a slippery slope back into disordered eating.

Spotting the Red Flags: Is My Past Coming Back?

A relapse doesn’t always look the same as the original eating disorder. Be on the lookout for these signs:

• Obsessing over food and weight: Are you constantly counting calories, weighing yourself, or thinking about what you can or can’t eat?
• Changes in eating habits: This could mean skipping meals, eating in secret, or having new, rigid rules around food.
• Compulsive exercise: Do you feel guilty or anxious if you miss a workout? Are you exercising to “earn” food or “burn off” what you ate?
• Negative self-talk: Do you constantly criticize your body in the mirror, pinch yourself, or talk down to yourself about your appearance?
• Pulling away from others: Are you avoiding social events, especially if they involve food?

How to Take Control: Finding Peace During Menopause

You don’t have to go through this alone. Here are some ways to take back control and find peace:

• Get Professional Help: This is the most important step. Find a therapist who specializes in eating disorders and understands women’s health. A registered dietitian who knows about both eating disorder recovery and menopause can also be a huge help.
• Focus on Nourishing Your Body: Instead of restricting food, shift your mindset to nourishing yourself. Learn what your body needs during this time and practice mindful eating, paying attention to your body’s hunger and fullness cues.
• Move Your Body for Joy, Not Punishment: Exercise is great for bone health and mood, but it shouldn’t be about burning calories. Find activities you genuinely love, like yoga, walking, or dancing.
• Be Kind to Yourself: Menopause is a tough transition. Challenge your negative self-talk and be compassionate with yourself. Your body has been through a lot—it deserves your respect.
• Build a Strong Support System: Talk to a trusted friend or partner. Consider joining a support group for women going through menopause or those in eating disorder recovery.

Menopause is a new chapter, and it’s an opportunity for healing and self-discovery. By understanding the challenges and asking for help, you can transform this time from a potential setback into a journey of empowerment.

I certainly have some more work to do, but knowing I’m not alone in all this helps. What can you do today to help yourself and ultimately, love yourself more?