A Different Perspective During The Holidays

 

This blog post was inspired by recent thoughts, conversations and a couple podcast episodes we recently listened to (which we will provide below). We felt it was important to share what we learned and hopefully it will help you today and going into the rest of the holiday season. 

 

What Do YOU Need From The Holidays?

Tis the season to be jolly!  Decorating the tree, listening to Christmas music, gathering with the people you love. Although these things sound fun and joyus, this time of year can be difficult for some of us. Maybe this time of year brings up past trauma caused by family, maybe Mariah Carrey’s “All I Want For Christmas” is a trigger, it can even be a time we are reminded of those we have lost and cannot celebrate with us. However, it can also be a time of joyous connection through the eyes of children and a time of traditions, warmth and comfort. 

 

With all of that being said, we want to invite you to take a moment and check-in with yourself and ask what you need from this holiday season. Maybe you need an hour to yourself right before the family arrives, maybe it’s a good cry, whatever it is for you let yourself just be in all of the feelings and emotions that come up for you. You can give yourself that and you deserve to hold yourself in it all. You don’t need to be perfect, just your true self. 

 

While you take the moment you need for yourself, another thing we want to invite you to do is to establish your focus or intention during the holidays. How do you want to feel? How do you want to show up to the holiday party that you’re maybe not looking forward to? Is your energy where you want it to be? If not, how can you allow yourself the space to feel into an energy that you want to be in? And just a friendly reminder, it’s okay to not attend if that’s what will truly make you happy. This is your holiday too, not just your loved ones. Take care of yourself first, because you are top priority, the VIP of your life.

 

Ask Yourself and Loved Ones What The Holiday Means To Them

Often we can think others enjoy the same things during the holidays as we do. But what we thought was a cool and fun idea was to ask your kids, husband, wife, partner, family and friends what makes them happy during the holidays? What makes Thanksgiving for them? What makes Christmas special? It’s interesting to see what their response is because it could be similar to what your’s may be or it could be something that you may have never thought or known had you not asked. Hey, this may even begin new family traditions and be a whole new way of seeing the holidays moving forward. The holidays are what we make them, so why not try something new!

 

Be Unsurprised and Be Prepared

This was a phrase we heard in one of the podcasts we listened to this week. It was a moment that we needed to rewind to hear it a few more times to help it sink in. Be unsurprised by what your aunt might say at the dinner table. Be unsurprised that your brother is being his typical obnoxious self. Be prepared to talk “small talk” with those you don’t keep in touch with throughout the year. Be prepared that you may burn the turkey and not have a bird for dinner. Be prepared that things happen and it’s out of our control. Whatever the scenario is, you must be unsurprised and prepared for it all. Allow yourself to go with the flow, the flow of what is. We have a habit as humans to want to control outside of ourselves, whether that be people, scenarios, etc. Fortunately what helps in these situations is we can control our response to our outer world. We can allow ourselves to let our family do what they do. Exactly what they are. We must learn to let go, release ourselves of someone else’s experience. We can’t control others’ experiences. We can only control ourselves and the experiences we want to have. 

 

The Appreciation game